Archives for posts with tag: love

Having a kid is all about watching them grow, reaching milestones and marveling at just how amazing each one is. The first year with tornado babe was no different. We sat and watched her every move waiting for those firsts. Smiling, rolling over, laughing, talking, crawling etc. Each one of them perfect, each one out doing the last, all equally the most amazing thing we had ever seen (heaven help our future children, ‘you call that rolling over? your sister totally owned you on that, ps seen that before…’).

Now as we embark on year two with said tornado babe its a whole new ball game. It’s the most hilarious, craziest, funnest ball game ever. With tornado babe up to bat.

No one tells you how awesome the second year is. They get lost in the new baby smell, the tiny and the doll-like features. They tell you about lack of sleep, solicit advice you don’t want or need, hog the baby and if your lucky make you a cup of tea (I kid, I promise I kid). But they leave out the bit about how much stinking fun your kid is when they turn one. And the new firsts, the bests firsts start rolling in.

Indi danced for the first time on my birthday. Daughter of a dance teacher, holds off showing any interest in music until after she turns one. This kid, my kid, made her dancing debut to Lana Del Ray in the lounge room, dancing like her father when he’s drunk. It was hilarious and a little worrying. Her father admits to his lack or coordination. Heres hoping the next one takes after me.

The first tantrum. It was so hard not to wet my self from laughter. The poor child absolutely lost it because the door stop wouldnt come out. Feet stamping, head banging on the wall, hands thrown in the air, the slow slide down to the floor, tears and crying. She doesnt bust out in tantrums very often, but while shes still little they are freaking hilarious.

First poop smell that reaches every corner of the house. How can one little bum offend and upset so violently?!

Cheers. We chink water bottles or sippy cups and Indi now says cheers, sorry its more like ‘chizzz’ with a dog like pant/laugh straight after. Seriously kid. It slays me.

Pretending to talk on the phone. A 14 month old holding the phone over her mouth and nose and saying ‘Elro?’ is enough to make you want to breed again (Note to husband -NOT YET).

Playing with dolls. Talking to them, cudling them, giving them kisses, putting them in the pram and then ramming the pram into other toys so that the pram rolls over and doll babies are thrown out everywhere. So precious.

Kisses and hugs just before you put her down to sleep. The real kind, with meaning and extra slob.

Taking tornado to the zoo and her noticing that there are animals there. Watching her little face light up when we saw the Emus was priceless. She quacked at the giant flock of parrots and called the tiger a ‘gat gat’. How do you beat that feeling?

My most recent first was yesterday when I put my hand out and said ‘Take mummies hand’ and she did. She held my hand and we walked together (all be it for less than a minute). I was dead, killed by cute.

These are the best firsts. The stuff that reconfirms that I’m doing this job properly. That my little tornado babe will be alright.

Much love peeps

xxx

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Warning: post littered with hallmark mush

The strongest people are born from resilience. You, with out doubt are the strongest person I know. I see you deflect the challenges that life throws at you and I am beyond envious. You take risks and they pay off, you push yourself and its acknowledged, you clear obsticles like they were mere stepping stones. Your just a little bit fabulous.

Watching you start this new journey has me in awe of you. It is with absolute clarity and conviction that I know this new path will be the making of you. You were made for this new roll. You will be everything you were ment to be because you get to have this journey, I promise you this.

My advice for you, my friend

Hold and be held. There is nothing sweeter.

Putting yourself first atleast once a day is not selfish.

Sunshine will help when a heart feels heavy.

Help is only a phone call away, and I will be there when ever you want or need me.

Have confidence is your decisions.

You are capable, you are strong, you will be tested and you will conquer. But you are only given what you can handle, please remember that.

 

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Anything you need, anytime, always

Love your guts lady xxx

2012. A year for learning. A year for growth, and a year for patience. I have never felt so emotionally drained and so filled with love before in my life.

This year gave me a tornado to help fill an empty place in my heart. It has showed me a love I have never experienced before, a life I could have only ever imagined. My tiny human came into this world ready to go, and everyday I watch her grow, learn and be. She has taught me so much about who I am, what my strengths are and what kind of mother I want/need to be. I will be forever grateful that 2012 has blessed me with her.

With the addition of a child, relationships seek a new definition of love. Aidan and I have fought hard, with passion, for the best life can offer our tiny human. Stern words have been shared, between us, debating what ‘the best’ is. Yes we have fought more, but the reason we stand strong after 13 years is because we have something worth fighting for. Children are change, and change is a learning experience. If we can not learn then we close the door on change.

The other half of my parental duties has been my pilar of strength this year. Bit by bit we have created a little family unit, and redefined exactly what family is. Our little family of three is busy, exhausting, loving, some times sleep deprived, excited to see each other, happy, always eating, making time for one another, looking for adventure, learning, sharing achievements, spending time with loved ones and looking out for each other.

2013 is only hours away. What do I wish for the incoming year? I don’t think I could wish for more than this year has been. What ever will be, will be. Que sera, sera.

Much love peeps xxx

Ugghhhhhh this whole mamma heart thing is so much harder than I was prepared for.

The recent shooting over in the US has me radiating worry and love simultaneously. The new parts of my brain and heart that are built to care for tiny human are working on overdrive. It hurts to think how much the families of the children lost must ache right now. My mamma heart is sending so much love their way, so very much love.

They don’t tell you how your heart extends itself after you have a child of your own. It feels like your heart stretches every time you leave them, an invisible connection from the creche to the pool, from home to the shops, from your heart to theirs. Your heart beats for them. It feels heavy when they aren’t around. It beats stronger when they learn and faster when they hurt. When they hurt, oh my poor little dear please don’t hurt. Your whole body feels that hurt, you become a life size heartbeat, running on empty, at the speed of knots, you rush to soothe, to assure, to their side. That heartbeat takes over, until, you know they are alright.

For those families, their heartbeat will not slow down for some time. I ache for those tired, hardworking, broken hearts.

Give love this week, to all those who need it. Much love peeps xxx

A long, long time ago there was a young girl with gigantic unruly hair who lived just down the road from a young boy with braces who played hockey. High school sweethearts.

That was 13 years ago. My hair is still unruly, but not so big thanks to advances in hair treatments. Aidan’s braces went a long time ago, but hockey is still hanging around.

We have traveled to Malaysia, Mauritius, Bali and Thailand. We have lived in four different houses together. We are the proud owner of 1 diva cat. We got married and we had a baby. I completed a university degree and Aidan has finished an electrical apprenticeship. We are busy, lazy, annoying, cheeky, stupid, irritating, smart, clever, smiley, giggling, messy, poor (at times), drinkers, eaters, friends, partners and lovers. We are happy.

13 years together, almost 3 years married, almost 1 year with indi, it’s all just a little bit lovely.

Gigantic love up over here right now, sending it all out to you guys

Much love peeps xxx

Almost 13 years have past and the boy is still hanging around. We’ve been through a lot together. We’ve had our ups and downs, always coming out the other side stronger and better for it. We’ve lived together, lived apart, lived with others and lived alone. We have seen amazing places together and have had amazing moments. We piss each other off, but we both know better than to go to bed angry. We put each other first, we make time for ourselves and hurt when the other is in pain. It is our life. Its us.

I am beyond lucky. Spoilt with this man, and the love that he shows me and my tiny human. All the little things make me so very thankful.

He always takes the bin out. He rubs my feet. He always asks me how my day was. He cleans the cars. He lets me have the bigger piece of chocolate. He gets up in the middle of the night to tend to the baby, when he’s the one that has to work the next day. He kisses me good bye in the morning even if I’m asleep, and he’s always the one to say I love you first. I am humbled by this man.

Years ago I asked Aidan if I was ‘High Maintenance’. Always the gentlemen he told me that in fact no, I was not, I was bloody hard work. In the last year and a half, I have unfortunately live up to this. Working, Pregnant, Lost my dad, Had a baby, Turned into crazy stay at home craft lady. Poor thing hardly ever knows what he’s coming home to each day. But he rolls with it. All of it. My hair brain schemes, my ‘I’ve decided’ moments, the random pinterest crafting ideas, the enforced house rules and the turbo whack-a-doodle I turn in to when my emotions envelope me. Like I said before, spoilt.

There is one memory of this amazing man that I hold so very close to my heart. It tops every other memory, every single one. It beats graduations, and balls, holidays and parties, it even tops our wedding day.

Aidan always wanted a little girl. When we found out we were pregnant he was already referring to it as ‘her’. There was no way he was waiting to find out what we were having. Finding out the gender was a no brainer, it. was. happening. In the waiting room before the ultrasound, he was talking about girls names, and researching their meanings on his phone (I’m not even kidding here). Waiting in that room, holding his hand, I knew he was nervous. The sonographer asked the first time, did we want to know the sex? With out hesitation Aidan replied ‘YES’, I confirmed. When he asked the second time, Aidan near jumped out of his skin to answer. Time slowed down down about here. Everything was still, and quiet. Before any words were spoken I turned to look at Aidan. Watching his eyes glass up, feeling his hand tighten around mine and seeing that enormous trade mark Aidan grin still warms my heart. Knowing that at that very moment in time I was holding the hand of the happiest man in the world is by far my most favorite memory to date.

I am what I am because I get to hold his hand. In the movies, under the table, during ultrasounds, at funerals, on airplanes, in labor, during the hard, the painful, the exciting and the romantic. Life has no option but to challenge us, throw us curve balls and slap us in the face a few hundred times. Regardless of this, I know I can get through it. As long as I can reach for that hand, I will be fine.

He let me share his day yesterday. He let me hold my heavy right next to his happy. He held my hand, when I should have been holding his. Its hard not to love this man.
Much love peeps

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