I am currently on hold with centrelink with an estimated wait time more than 30 mins according to the robot lady that runs the place. So I think to myself what can I get done in that time?
I have already watched an episode of franklin (yes the baby is napping, so I forgot to change the channels, there is nothing wrong with kids shows, yeah ok maybe you have a point). Now I’m going to attempt to do something productive. Well sort of, blogging isn’t really classified as something productive in this house.
Speaking of unproductive, I was thinking (on the loo, as you do) about all the excuses people use to get out of things. I even tried to use an excuse for not actually making the call to centrelink (ps. I love me some Mozart as I blog. Could they not link to a radio station?), my excuse was I was napping. Except then I realized that 10.30 am is a bit early to nap, so I got up off my butt and made the call.
Back to the excuses. Day off work? Get out of meeting someone? Avoid time with parents? Reasons to say no to the ugly guy? Ways to sound less lame if the thing your trying to get out of is way cool, like sky diving or holidaying in thailand or eating donuts. We’ve all used them, no one can say they haven’t made up a white lie at lease once in their life. (Hold music is still playing on my phone through the speaker).
Get out of work with out question excuses:
- gastro – classic, spewing or pooing no one wants to know
- migraine – everyone knows they screw up your whole body and the day before line of ‘oh I think I feel a migraine coming on- boom, day off.
- hurt my foot, ankle, leg, arm whilst playing (insert sport here) – bit harder depending on where you work, but throw in a ‘I’ve got an appointment with the physio today because last time I hurt it I was off work for weeks’ and your boss will be so grateful that it wasn’t serious he will forget that you had to take a day off.
More ways to get out of things instead of saying ‘I don’t want to’ or ‘I can’t afford it’ or other less cool things:
- sorry (hang on I think the baby just woke up… … false alarm) I have a rent inspection that day
- the car is getting serviced, I’ve got no transport
- the plane has been delayed
- the baby is sick
- I’m waiting on a (insert tradesman here) to come but you know what they are like, always running late.
Reasons for running late:
- traffic was attrocious
- its the babies fault
- its aidans fault (not my excuse clearly)
- had to get fuel (not watch the last 10 mins of days of our lives- DONT JUDGE)
- we stopped to help someone that had broken down
- I was on hold to freaking centrelink for a gazillion hours (31.49 mins now….)
- didn’t get much sleep last night because the baby is teething
- I forgot (insert something vital to running of your day)
- I got the call up for big brother, but I had to turn it down because the last season was sooooooooo crap
- my good friend Oprah called with an emergency, I couldn’t let her choose her favorite things in that state
- I was grooming my pet poodle for the dog show tomorrow night. hes in the running for first place you know
- I had to watch the extremely long bat man movie, just so I could find out how long I can hold off going to the loo for
- I got stuck singing ‘the song that never ends’ to the baby
- I had to tweet Kim Kardashian about the fact that she got pregnant before Klhoe. I mean, HOW RUDE!
- I was instagramming the 17 meals I made with Jamie Oliver and just lost track of time
So we are at 38 mins now…… The baby is due to wake up any minute, and of course I have tried to get this done while she was asleep so she doesn’t get all cranky because I’m on the phone and she’s not allowed to touch it. She has just reached the age of ‘I’m not eating that, I want what you have in your hand, dont even try and make me eat it, I’ll scream the house down, no the water wont distract me….’.
Crap she just woke up
CRAP THEY PICKED UP!
After 39.48 mins. It took me precisely 2.24 mins to ask my question and then I was done.
Crap, better get the baby.
Much love peeps xxx