There is busy in our house. Busy is helping all the things come together for a certain little tornados birthday. Crafting is happening, plans are falling into place and little by little, a party that somehow looks like the colour pink has thrown up, is starting to build.

Busy is fabulous for distractions. Replacing your focus from thinking, to doing. But there is a catch, when busy stops, your brain kicks in. Yesterday I stopped and I got kicked hard.

I’ve joked to other mothers about needing survival tips for when your babe turns one. They have all smiled, relayed party advice and said in a soft tone ‘try to enjoy the day’. I didn’t take much from it, but now I see why. I’m a hot mess of nostalgia.

I now see the tiny baby photos of Indi (that I looked at last week no less) and feel my heart jump, my face go raw and the hot tears well in my eyes. Each ‘project’ that I finish for the party is another lump in my throat.

I hate that this year has gone so fast. It’s hard to believe its even real. You dream about having your own kids, then when it happens you can’t comprehend how all this magical stuff is happening. And that you created it. This year has been so unbelievable. I don’t think I could have ever imagined how full my heart would be, how busy my life would become, how much learning would take place, how my world would change and how becoming a parent would change both of us, for the better.

Two years of wanting and aching for a child of our own. Then to be blessed with a healthy little bundle. That little monkey is now turning one. To us, this birthday, this milestone has been almost a three year lead up (excuse me while I catch my breath). No wonder it’s shaking me.

How do I not turn in to a blubbering mess when she blows out her candle? I’m so afraid of being that mum, hiding in the kitchen, every year, in denial that their child is growing up. Im very grateful that there will be champagne to keep me grounded this weekend.

This is where I’m at. The hallmark stage. Reminiscing and remembering a tiny little babe that would snuggle into my chest and could be held with just one arm. Oh tornado babe, my how you have changed.

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Much love peeps xxx

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