It seems in the last week or so fear has squeezed its way into our little house hold. Having someone come into your house in the middle of the night can do that to you.

I’ve never been one to shy away from anything really. I will admit to over dramatizing and making a scene prior to the event, but 9 out of 10 times I’ll give it ago. I normally freak out, over think every possible outcome, psych myself up and then do it. I never really let on that I’m scared.

Right now?  I shitting myself at random noises (surprisingly enough staying completely still isn’t the most heroic move). If its at night I will panic whack Aidan and make him check it out. The worst part is I am sleeping so lightly now,  a week and a half on and I feel knackered from being ‘almost awake’ as apposed to ‘completely asleep’. I know I’m not exactly at the paranoia stage, but its a big enough change in routine for me to notice.

I’m not sure if tiny human has picked up on my vibe, but for the first time since she was born I’ve noticed she has become scared. Some might call it clingy or cranky, but to me its showing fear. In the past (almost) 9 months I’ve been able to pass her off to pretty much anyone for a cuddle. Family, friends, other mums, the lady behind the counter at the chemist, its never really phased her. Lately she will physically crawl away from someone and get upset if they get to close. She will hang on to Aidan or myself if we try to hand her to someone ‘new’ for a cuddle (new also refers to people she hasn’t seen in a week or two). I’m very aware that babies go through these phases, its natural, they are learning about relationships and boundaries. But this is a bit off. It also seems to correlate with the car being stolen and I’m worried my crazy freaking out mamma vibe has gotten to her.

If this is the case I’m gonna have to chill out, if she is picking up on this, then there is no saving her from all my other crazies.

Much love peeps xxx