On sunday it was pretty nice weather, the sun was out and so was lady heff pots chubby little thighs. Aidan really wanted Indi to have her first beach experience in WA, and as we are off to Bali next monday (yes thats only six sleeps) it was a perfect opportunity for those little bubba feet to touch down on the sandy whites of the beach.

My dad was a surfer and the beach ran through him. It was where he was most comfortable, where he felt whole. Before I had Indi I dreamed of the day when my dad would show my kids his world. Teach them about the swell, tell them stories of surfing and fishing and teach them to swim and surf. I always wanted him to be there when they first set foot on the soft sand, and dip their wee little feet into the wet, cold white wash.

I had avoided this moment for a few weeks. I didn’t think I was ready, but like all mums my head switched and I saw it from Aidan and Indi’s perspective. And then I thought about what dad would want. So when Aidan suggested it again, I picked up the camera and jumped in the car. Brave face and all.

Oh it was hard alright. The ocean itself is where we lost dad, so anxiety was pinging through me. Then I had to watch a father introduce his little girl to a new world, (cue about a million memories of me and my dad). In that moment, my heart flew in to the air, watching Aidan, full to the brim with pride and smiling as big as the sun, show Indi all the different things along the shore line (the swelling of my heart with love is a feeling I can not even begin to describe).

Its hard when your expectations don’t translate into reality. But you can’t grieve for dreams, and you can’t let those expectations stop you from experiencing whats in front of you. So that’s what I did. I let myself be in that moment. Sun setting, soft breeze through my hair, sun on my skin, salt in the air, surrounded by two of the people I love most in the world and adding another first to our memory banks. I know how happy dad would have been, just knowing how much we want Indi to experience his world. He was there, sort of anyway. in the swell, tickling her toes as the small waves washed over her feet. He was there to tell me it was ok, and he was there telling me not to miss out on these moments. Thanks dad, I needed that.

That last picture. That there is my dad. I told you he was there. Miss you dad xx

Much love peeps xxx

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