Almost 13 years have past and the boy is still hanging around. We’ve been through a lot together. We’ve had our ups and downs, always coming out the other side stronger and better for it. We’ve lived together, lived apart, lived with others and lived alone. We have seen amazing places together and have had amazing moments. We piss each other off, but we both know better than to go to bed angry. We put each other first, we make time for ourselves and hurt when the other is in pain. It is our life. Its us.

I am beyond lucky. Spoilt with this man, and the love that he shows me and my tiny human. All the little things make me so very thankful.

He always takes the bin out. He rubs my feet. He always asks me how my day was. He cleans the cars. He lets me have the bigger piece of chocolate. He gets up in the middle of the night to tend to the baby, when he’s the one that has to work the next day. He kisses me good bye in the morning even if I’m asleep, and he’s always the one to say I love you first. I am humbled by this man.

Years ago I asked Aidan if I was ‘High Maintenance’. Always the gentlemen he told me that in fact no, I was not, I was bloody hard work. In the last year and a half, I have unfortunately live up to this. Working, Pregnant, Lost my dad, Had a baby, Turned into crazy stay at home craft lady. Poor thing hardly ever knows what he’s coming home to each day. But he rolls with it. All of it. My hair brain schemes, my ‘I’ve decided’ moments, the random pinterest crafting ideas, the enforced house rules and the turbo whack-a-doodle I turn in to when my emotions envelope me. Like I said before, spoilt.

There is one memory of this amazing man that I hold so very close to my heart. It tops every other memory, every single one. It beats graduations, and balls, holidays and parties, it even tops our wedding day.

Aidan always wanted a little girl. When we found out we were pregnant he was already referring to it as ‘her’. There was no way he was waiting to find out what we were having. Finding out the gender was a no brainer, it. was. happening. In the waiting room before the ultrasound, he was talking about girls names, and researching their meanings on his phone (I’m not even kidding here). Waiting in that room, holding his hand, I knew he was nervous. The sonographer asked the first time, did we want to know the sex? With out hesitation Aidan replied ‘YES’, I confirmed. When he asked the second time, Aidan near jumped out of his skin to answer. Time slowed down down about here. Everything was still, and quiet. Before any words were spoken I turned to look at Aidan. Watching his eyes glass up, feeling his hand tighten around mine and seeing that enormous trade mark Aidan grin still warms my heart. Knowing that at that very moment in time I was holding the hand of the happiest man in the world is by far my most favorite memory to date.

I am what I am because I get to hold his hand. In the movies, under the table, during ultrasounds, at funerals, on airplanes, in labor, during the hard, the painful, the exciting and the romantic. Life has no option but to challenge us, throw us curve balls and slap us in the face a few hundred times. Regardless of this, I know I can get through it. As long as I can reach for that hand, I will be fine.

He let me share his day yesterday. He let me hold my heavy right next to his happy. He held my hand, when I should have been holding his. Its hard not to love this man.
Much love peeps

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