Archives for the month of: September, 2012

Should you ever require a butt operation, I highly recommend my hospital. With the luxury of private health cover (due to the stupid taxation department and the insistence of parents), I have spent quite a bit of time here at St John of God Subi. I had Indi here almost 8 months ago, a five day stay post emergency c-section, with not an ounce of pain, gorgeous nurses, yummy food and a queen size, yes queen size bed. 7 weeks later I had an over night stay due to a breast abscess (my child was a messy eater from the get go), once again it was pretty dang comfy, they even brought in a cot for Indi, who stayed with me because I was still breast feeding*. This time its a three day stay, the loveliest nurses, DELICIOUS food and a room all my my lonesome. The place is pretty sweet.

I must admit that I have been slightly disappointed with the play by play of my latest stay. My expectations were a tad grand. In my head an operation on my cheeks (technically its just one) involved a bucket load of pain and me being limited in my range of movement due to my butt being in the air (think- scrubs style comedy sketch with patient in randomly placed casts, strung from a series of pully systems- my brain is a comedy show gold mind). It was all a bit lack luster in reality.

I woke from my drugged up nap, only to have a little spew (always classy) and discover that I was laying on my back. The only thing hooked up to me was an IV, which was removed after the first night. As a bonus, I had full range of movement and could do as I pleased with in the room **. They kept offering me pain relief, of which I found I didn’t need. Not really the horrible, painful, humiliating hospital stay I had planned.

Oh and I’ve learnt a few things being here too. They have a butt ward. Yes a butt ward. I’m on the butt ward. When I discovered this today I was pretty chuffed. I’m hanging with my homies over here. I didn’t have to stress that the nurses were all gossiping about me behind my back “no you go and change the dressing on the crazy ladies butt, I want to hold the newborn”. Yes, I worry about people trash talking my bottom. I’m only human. And to my great delight I am some what a novelty on my ward. By far the youngest, with a not so hard core bottom issue. One day I will get that put on a badge.

This evening I asked my lovely nurse ‘Kerri’ how it is one comes to be on a butt ward. I know if it was me I couldn’t imagine being in a room and jumping up and down saying ‘pick me, pick me’ when asked who wants to deal with the poo end of a human. Kerri explained that the nurses on the bottom and vagina ward (yeah I said it, I’m a health teacher, I can totally say vagina) –insert gasp VAGINA AS WELL– are some of the most skilled nurses due to the level of the complications, pain, specifics, delicateness and embarrassment of their clients. Translated, that means I have some of the best nurses tending to my hiney.

The stay isn’t horrible, most of the time I’m left to chill by myself because I am the least demanding patient. I like that. I actually napped today. I read a book today. I may have eaten a small block of chocolate today. If I could get a pedicure, it could almost be classified at a holiday.

So this is a shout out St John of God Subiaco. As much as I have ‘loved’ hanging out, it would be real nice if we didn’t see each other until I pump out some more tiny humans.

Much love peeps xxx

Side notes:* Yes I am a freaking mamma machine. Child first. My only motto. **Tempting as it is, I resisted the urge to do yoga with an open arse wound.

If I could go back in time, to before we had tiny human, there would be a few things that I would choose to pass on. You see I was all too eager for a baby. Regardless of the fact that I had NO baby experience what so ever. Yes I had played with a 6 month old, but nappies, lack of sleep and slippery little nudies where not things that warranted concern back then.

We have learnt so much in such a short time. I think all mums and dads have to learn fast, or it begins to swallow them. I am all for learning, but if I could go back in time with just a handful of advice for pre baby me, I know that the ‘deer in headlights’ look might not be so obvious.

1. Multi tasking is a daily staple. You will be required to wash the dishes, feed the baby, answer your phone and prepare dinner all while putting a load of washing on. What they dont tell you is why you need to multi task. The more you get done while the baby is awake, the less you need to do when they sleep. If your clever you might get to read a book, watch a movie, have a cup of tea or even grab a cheeky nap.

2. Your boobs will no doubt look like melting pudding. You knew that they would change, but the reality is just a little bit more depressing. Having to roll your boobs up from your knees to put them in your bra is a real possibility now. Lucky you!

3. One arm will become stronger than the other. Weakling arms will develop a favorite side for heffa babies.

4. Single mums, mums with FIFO partners, mums multiples, and mums of more than one babe are all freaking goddesses. Met them, adore them, and get them to mentor you. You know nothing, they know everything. End.of.story.

5. Get a god damn hobby already. Do not wait until after the baby is born to find something you like to do in your spare time. There is only so much crafting you can do before you turn into a complete loon. Please avoid turning into a crazy hoarder lady who saves everything for future projects. Its not healthy and no body cares if you have perfected potato stamping (note: this has not happened yet, its worrying none the less).

6. Teething is a bitch. Everything you think it is, triple that, throw in a crazy zombie attack and aliens blowing up the world. Yeah that’s about how crappy it is. There is only so much you can do to help too. Your will hurt for her.

7. Who needs grocery shopping anyway? Its not like its a necessity!

8. Baby poop can empty a room. Babies are stink nuggets!

9. Cake is the devil after you pop out the squid, stay away from it. It will come of no good!!! You will become addicted and then -BOOM- cake weight!

10. There is no such thing as ‘good’ clothes when the baby comes. They are all gooby rags and slob wipers. On a good day they also store a fair bit of excess biscuit, milk or leftover food.

11. You will, no matter how much you think you wont, end up talking about baby poop every single time you socialize. Its not on purpose, and you will feel shame almost immediately, but the topic of poop becomes the norm.

12. Daytime TV regardless of how crappy it really is, how much you have pulled the piss in the past, it will become well known to you. Try not to admit that out loud. People who watch ‘Days of Our Lives’ don’t have friends.

13. Worry becomes an accessory. You will wear everyday. Wear it with pride, its coated in love.

14. Babies don’t follow plans. So try not to be so OCD about being on time, or making all social events. Be prepared for the guilt of canceling at the last minute. People do understand, you don’t have to apologise for the next month,

15. You will miss your job. Knowing your missing out on a life that you have lived and breathed for the last four years will hurt. But one look into the face you created will ease that pain.

16. Looking at an adorable baby and thinking ‘I made you’ does not automatically make you look good. Try to look in the mirror before you leave the house. You are a much older, hairier, uglier version of the gorgeous babe your pushing around. Make up wont fix it, but it can help!

17. Your hair and skin will hate you. They will switch from oily to dry on a whim. Deal with it.

18. Baby clothes are an addiction. You will need to join a support group for ‘Mothers who buy adorable outfits for thier kids because they will look super cute and its not that expensive really, I’m sure this sheep costume will come in handy, oooooohhhhh thats pretty….”

19. There is such thing as spitfire, sprinkler, pellet, and explosion poops. They will impress and disgust, simultaneously.

20. You will hurt when you have to leave her for the first time. You will ache and sook and cry. You will be upset if she is fine and doesn’t miss you. But you will secretly feel relief if no one can ease her restlessness if she begins to miss you.

Alas, I can not go back in time, I really wouldn’t want to either. Learning about this bubba is the best educational course I’ve ever had. I haven’t even had time to draw pictures in the margins or colour in the diagrams.

Much love peeps xxx

Fyi I’m a bit bored. Missing my little girl and wishing my tookus was a little less sore.

St John of God Subiaco Hospital is super lovely (its the only hospital I’ve ever been admitted to, and I’ve been here 3 times in the last 7 and 1/2 months). Movie channels and 3 course meals, lovely staff and private rooms. However, I’m not used to still, or quiet or slow. So I get bored. And I take photos. This is my stay so far.

Pretending I’m on holiday












waiting, waiting, waiting…












in the matrix
























I’d pack you if I could chick pea












After this point there was a whole lot of waiting (wearing some killer disposable undies big enough to fit a gorilla, and no I am not gorilla sized), about an hour in surgery and a fairly restless night.

Visits from a very wriggly (tiny) wonder woman












my loves












wonder woman got super duper excited












my current entertainment (yes I did steal somebunny for my own attachment issues)













Not exactly a party up in my room at the moment. But Aidan brought chocolate, I have books and magazines and the telly, so I’ll get by. Funny enough though, I’d much rather go for a walk?! Oh well. Best rest up while I can.

Much love peeps xxx











Our trip away was super fun. We hung out with the most lovely little family ever. A beautiful couple and there little rock star son Edison, who is just a month older than Indi. They very graciously allowed us to piggyback on their holiday/honeymoon. Yeah, pretty bloody fabulous people huh? They took the grandparents too, so we took my mum also. Holiday, with mates, plus baby sitters…. booyah!

It was gorgeous to see Indi play with little Ed each day. She learnt way too much from hanging with that little dude. After a week with him she has come home crawling, climbing and eating SOOOOOOOO much. All great milestones yes, but its blowing my mind how much they learn from each other. Personally I learnt a lot too, holidaying with Super mum (yeah I know a whole lot of super mums, may end up getting an inferiority complex one day). Super mum came on holiday with a nasty bout of mastitis (ouch you say). From her I found confidence in my “mumming”, learnt handy tricks about feeding tiny humans, and found myself in awe of her devoted parenting skills. She shared her swim teaching tricks for Indi in the pool, she walked (trekked) Ed every morning before breakfast, basically she put everything else before herself on her own honeymoon. Selfless? Amazing. I felt very lucky to be on holiday with her (and her gorgeous family).

I’m now going to hit you with more gorgeous photos of our time away. Take note at how adorable Indi and Ed look together.

As you can see the week was lovely. Babies and sun and the pool and the view. Could not ask for more.

Much love peeps xxx

I go into hospital tomorrow night. Operation on my butt, yeah, don’t ask. I will explain after I get through the next week or so. Of course I’m anxious about surgery. Who wouldn’t be. I dont think I know any one who gets excited and can’t wait to get cut open. If you are one of those people, I am raising my eyebrow in disapproval at you and wishing you could take my place.

Its being separated from little babe. Forty weeks she spent in my belly and for the past 7 and 1/2 months I haven’t spent more than 5 hrs apart from her. The idea of 4 days away from her makes me hurt. I have spent the the last hour of her being awake tonight with tears welling in my eyes, smelling her, snuggling her and telling her I loved her. How the hell do we do this parent thing? Its so bloody hard. I’m not stupid I know for a fact that she will be fine. Aidan gets to play Mr Mum and he is so excited about it too. He keeps threatening to dress her in horrible outfits (knowing fair well that I wouldn’t approve). And they will visit too. I think that will make it worse, knowing that she will leave me after such a short time. Not to mention that after my operation I’m more than likely going to be limited with my movement (apparently you use your butt a lot during the day). Its going break my heart over and over again.

How did you guys do it? Leave your little one for the first time? Was it hard? Did you cry? Lots? Did your heart feel like it was on pause till your saw them again? Did you feel like there was no sun? Did your body ache to cuddle and snuggle? This is just how I “think” the next four days will be, I am well prepared for it to be worse than that.

Tomorrow I will take about a million pictures of her pretty little face. I will tell her shes not allowed to grow or develop. I will kiss her beautiful face all over and I will sook when she has to leave me. Aidan has been directed to send me photos every couple of hours. I may even resort to skype if my separation anxiety over whelms me.

So wish me luck. Hopefully if I hold onto Indi’s toy “Somebunny” while I’m in hospital I’ll be fine.

Much love peeps xxx

Don’t you just love holidays?¬† You only know its lunch time because your belly is telling you your hungry and to leave the pool. Pointless crap becomes desirable, even though at home you would have never even considered purchasing a giant rainbow colored pirate ship kite (hindsight is kicking my ass, of course I need one, put that in the ‘reasons to go back to Bali’ list). You begin with dreams of soaking up culture, but in the end turn into the ultimate tourist and chose burgers and pizzas, because you ‘hardly ever’ have them back home (who the hell are you kidding fatty?). You have no idea what the date is, you refer your time on holiday as “x amount of time till you we go home’. And when you get home you pretty much start every sentence with ‘In {insert destination here} they/we/she/he/…’ and to top it off the days smoosh together when you try to recount various holiday stories. Man I love holidays.

But, alas, we are home again. Tiny human is super tired and no doubt missing her pool. There are suitcase exposions all over the house and the washing pile is ginormous. Back to reality.

I have about a million fabulous things to blog (brag) about, but I’m just gonna hit you all with a few pictures, to make you start considering/dreaming/planning/get excited for your own trip to Bali.




















































Of course I’ll post more later this week. However there are much more pressing things on the agenda, getting some food for the house, catching up on the laundry and having a cuppa.

Much love peeps xxx

So this is only about 2 months late. My bad.

Prelude: Holiday was booked roughly 5 months before travel. What ensued was 5 months of freaking out, a whole lot of research, a million questions and over preparing.

So how did I pull it off? I have no idea. But here’s some of the things I put in place to make my holiday easier.

On the plane:

  • I booked travel times that linked up to nap times. Making sure we got a little break from crazy plane buzzing baby.
  • I brought a few new toys hoping they would be interesting enough to distract tiny human for a portion of time. Crazy babe found more fun in the emergency instructions and the people sitting behind us.
  • We used a dummy to help with the cabin pressure on her ears (sucking helps stop the blocked ear feeling). We were also prepared with her sippy cup and her bottle if the dummy didn’t work. The dummy was pretty awesome. She managed to sleep through take off on the first trip and stayed calm through landings (Side note: Indi was officially weaned as soon as she got home, we are dummy FREE since October, Whoo hoo).

Food and Sterilization:

Just before we went to bali, we finished up with breast feeding. The choice was not made for the holiday, it just happen to be that our holiday was the week before a 4 day stay in hospital. Unfortunately it meant that bottles were required for every feed. On top of that, Indi had gotten to the age where she has 3 meals a day, plus a few snacks. Needless to say I turned into a crazy lady, freaking out about my poor child starving or getting sick. I used:

  • Sterilization bags: pop your plastic wear, bottles and utensils in the reusable bags, chuck the bag in the microwave and presto – clean stuff (we didn’t have a microwave to use, but what ev’s). Take a cheap bottle brush with you: at least you know your doing it properly.
  • Water purification tablets: Worried about water quality for baths? Or cleaning? Problem solved.
  • For food I made sure I had enough baby sachets and jars for 2 days longer than we were staying. In case her appetite changed or increased (I also made sure it was stuff I knew she would eat, no point trying new food when your not sure if you can find a replacement).
  • I also introduced Indi to watermelon rockmelon, paw paw and strawberries before we left. All fruits readily available at most continental breakfasts over in Bali. Sneaky mum made sure she grabbed a little extra fruit in the morning to help cool off crazy babe when she got warm later in the day.

Travel and Transport:

We booked our transfers through Bali Baby Hire. So easy. Waiting for us when we got there. Air con, car seat and cold water. It made for one very very happy baby. The little van was nice and high up and Indi was in a later model car seat, so she could see everything. She was giggling and talking the whole way to the hotel. We hired a pram from the same company. I can’t say that I used it enough really. Indi prefered to be carried (she hated missing out on anything) and many of the sidewalks weren’t really pram friendly. That said, I didn’t venture too far from the pool or the cocktails so my opinion isn’t one of too much worth on that subject.

The rest:

Purchasing a bucket is never a bad thing. For $2, my bali bucket has saw a whole lot of action in five short days. Washing clothes, grotty bibs, bottles, carried shopping and entertained two littles. On top of that it can be given to somebody in need when we leave. Thank you blue bucket, you have served us well.

Bali has WAY TOO MANY baby stores/places to buy baby clothes. If your thinking about coming to Bali, bring two outfits for your tiny human, then spend an hour or two shopping. By the end of those two hours you should have enough for the entire summer season. All fabulous light cotton pretties. And super affordable. Just be sure there is plenty of room in the suitcase for purchases (or find someone else to bring your gigantic pile of baby stuff home. Like I did. Thanks Mum.).

We were lucky enough to share our holiday with like minded people, who made the trip so much easier. More than one baby was entertainment in itself, for us, the babes, the other guests and the hotel staff.

Balinese are gorgeous and just adore babies. They were super gentle and always so helpful. We stayed in a small hotel in Legian. Our room was baby monitor distance from the restaurant (score). The monitor was handy for day time naps, we got one with the longest range. It gave us that little bit more freedom while knowing that Indi bum was ok. We were able to have lunch, or laze by the pool (I was NOT ok doing anything more than that, and did regular check ins. Regardless of the freedom I was still a mum).

If your thinking about taking your babe to Bali but are freaking out, just do it. I doubt you will freak out as much as me, I doubt you will pack, and re-pack, and over pack and re-pack as much as me. I did it, and managed to have fun. You will too.

I’m so ready to do it all over again.

Much love peeps xxx

So I’ve learnt a few things on this trip that will be passed on in the hopes that other mammas don’t feel the weight of traveling with tiny humans over whelm them.

Don’t get me wrong, paranoia in preparation is a god given right. If your not stressing about something before it happens then you might be missing part of your brain. Me? I take it too far, always have always will. My brain likes to weigh up all the options and have a set of pre recorded directions, like a when you sneak a peak at the other chapters in a choose your own adventure book. I take ownership of my over stressing. Scratch that I take pride in it. I’m pretty sure I have over thought every event in my adult life. No one can accuse me of not taking my time to mull it over.

Anyway, so far I have learnt:

1. Tiny humans are way popular over here. The balinese people are so lovely towards the bubs. No one seems to annoy you half as much when your with a baby. Oh it’s so lovely.
2. Kit Kats out of the fridge make my world so perfect.
3. Traveling with others with bubs gives you confidence. Don’t underestimate it.
4. A long distance baby monitor means you can have a romantic dinner.
5. Tiny humans appetites lessen when it’s warm.
6. My child would drink the entire pool if she was allowed.
7. September is the nicest time of the year to visit Bali. Not as humid, nice breeze, suns out, beer is cold.
8. One piece bathers post baby are not as ‘mumsie’ as one may be led to believe.
9. A wet hat cools a baby very efficiently.
10. I shouldn’t be allowed near a buffet breakfast when it’s all you can eat bacon.

We’re off for a dip in the pool. No doubt indi will loose her shit, squeal with delight, batter her eyelashes at everyone then proceed to drink as much chlorine as possible. That what you get with a water dragon (Aquarius born in the year of the dragon).

Much love peeps xxx


We’re here. After months of stress, we actually made it. And it couldn’t be more fabulous.






Shit just got real over here.



%d bloggers like this: