Warning this is a vent post.

Straight up- everyone is guilty of this. Absolutely everyone has done it, or will do it at some stage. I myself am guilty (and ashamed) of it too.

I’ll admit that I’m not good at taking advice I didn’t ask for. 7 out of 10 times I will do the complete opposite of what I’m ‘told’ to do out of spite. Can’t say that it always works out in my favor, but damn I feel good for being a bad ass and marching to my own drum.

My experience in the classroom has taught me that asking for help is a darn hard thing to do. It shows imperfections, vunerability and weakness. But to have that so called ‘help’, shoved down your throat is similar to being slapped in the face.

Now there is a fine line between offering an opinion and telling someone what you think they should do. But in today’s society the line is blurred. Every nanna at the shopping centre, every delivery driver dropping off packages, every family member and friend feels they have the right to tell it like it is.

The majority of the time the words don’t cut or hurt, because they are said with love towards you and your child. For example ‘are you getting enough sleep, you really should sleep when the baby does’. But then there are the few that tear through skin and go straight for the heart. But it goes even deeper than that.

That very first moment when you hold that tiny bundle of warmth, and you look deep into those brand new eyes, clarity sets in. You begin a new career at that exact second, a job that is yours alone and that you take on for the rest of your life. Its a shaky start, rocked with worry, what if’s, fear and stress. Slowly, step by step your confidence in the new role grows. Confidence grows in achieving, by learning how to successfully swaddle, getting a good sleeping routine and watching smiles grow.

Sharp words cut a new mamma deep, as I said before, but the worst damage is not to our hearts but to our confidence. To be a good mamma, sorry to be a great mamma, we need to believe in ourselves and believe that we are doing the best job possible. When and if confidence is shaken, belief disappears and things get hard when they don’t need to.

The best gift you can give a new mamma is confidence. Tell her she’s doing well, praise her on her achievements even if they are small (without telling her how you did it), ask her of she needs anything and tell her that if she ever needs help all she has to do is ask. These things will help build the foundation for the career she will have for the rest of her life.

Always be kind to new mammas, I’m pretty sure they are the reason we all love so furiously.

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